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by Mira Christie
Every day, I allow myself to drift
into some fantastic existence that isn't mine
where I could get fucked for hours
by every cute face that passes by
with no fear of disease, remorse, regret.

The reality is that you will come home
give me a half-hearted hug
lumber into the kitchen and dump
your lunch's dirty containers into the sink
for me to wash
while you drop into the sofa
to watch trash television
while my vagina gathers cobwebs.

You will ask about dinner
you will fall asleep for at least thirty minutes.
In this time, I will think about sneaking out.
I will think about the steak knives in the kitchen
and how easy it would be
to just end my own misery.

Instead, I sneak upstairs into the silence
and fuck myself quietly.
May 2008
106