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My Heroes
Jack Kerouac was an asshhole.
He zipped around the country
high on bennies, peyote, and tea
--drunk on wine
till his constitution couldn’t stand it,
then he went home to mommy,
got angry, mean
and hypocritical.

Heny Miller was an asshole too.
He dumped a wife
and ran out on his daughter.
He bummed and mooched
never paying back a dime,
then he got famous and old,
made young girls fall for him
though his cock no longer worked.

Charles Bukowski was the biggest asshole of all.
He showed up late to readings,
drunk and puking,
tried fucking the professor’s wives
or anything that had a cunt.
He hated to be bothered,
stayed as drunk as possible
and had the gall to complain.

“You’re a PRICK!” my girlfriend screams.
“Yeah, well you’re a BITCH!” I scream back
“You are such an ASSHOLE!” She retorts
“Fine with me.” I reply, “So I’m an asshole.
All of my heroes were assholes.”
May 2014
144
by Devin McGuire