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We Are a Most Litigious People And We Prefer To Believe That There Is Always a Responsible Party For Every Event in Life
by Ally Malinenko
In 1991
Richard Overton
sued Anheuser-Busch
on the grounds
that the Bud Light
he consumed each night,
did not take him to an island
full of the bikini-clad
blondes that were in the commercials.
Each day, he testified,
he came home
cracked open can after can
sucking down all that piss tasting amber
and no one appeared
with a sandy beach,
with long blonde hair
with an impossible waist
and ass that went on for miles.
No one played beach volleyball
with him
or laughed with a wide open
smile filled with perfect white
teeth to every sad little joke
that Richard Overton made.

Instead Richard Overton
just got fat and sad,
surrounded by cans,
and stained carpets
and couches with rips
one mewling cat constantly
at his foot.

In the end he sued
for loss of enjoyment of life
and for three years
and ten thousand dollars
he was right.
May 2014
144