| this is oh so blue A MAGAZINE OF FICTION, POETRY & MORE! |
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| this is black shadow |
| ZYGOTE IN MY COFFEE.COM |
| ISSUE #14 $O.OO |
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| July 2004 |
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| ZYGOTE IN MY COFFEE.COM |
| ***BIO*** Rev. Ryan "Rat" Travis began performing 7 years ago at the infamous Stone Soup Poetry in Cambridge, MA. He took the scene by storm and hasn't looked back. Often unpredictable but always entertaining, "Rat" as he is known more often, has performed all over New England,as well as NYC, NJ, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh and Lexington KY. He has the dubious distinction of being kicked off stage by long distance telephone while in KY. Ryan has been nominated for a Cambridge Poetry Award for best love poem and has received an award as part of the Barnum and Buddah Poetry Circus. His work can be found on Umbrellazine.com and bostonpoet.com.Ryan has also worked for Spooky World, America's Halloween Theme Park for the past 6 years.He has been published in several anthologies and also has 2 chapbooks Lust and The Fashion Wars available through the author. |
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| © 2004 zygoteinmycoffee Ink. |
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| My Sgt. Shultz |
| by Rev. Ryan "Rat" Travis |
| I think I have a small penis I mean, sometimes, it's not there at all not that I'm worried about it I'm pretty happy I really like my penis it seems to do the job I haven't had any complaints, that I know of He's got an itchy trigger at first but once you get him going He's like Buckaroo Banzai. Having a penis is kinda cool He's like your pal you can twirl him around and wiggle him like crazy He's a great toy it's balls I can really do without They're just annoying always in the way and forever the potential for DANGER Have you ever been KICKED in the balls? To those of you who have experienced it it sends shivers down their spine just thinking about it. Ladies, just try to imagine someone punching your ovaries for comparison and while it's not childbirth, a well placed kick in the nads is enough to make you see god something a kick in your nether regions just can't come close to. So I like my penis but I hate my balls but it's much more than that I'd be lost without my penis I think most guys would be. Balls are just something to scratch besides being the true business end of the whole thing I wouldn't miss 'em if they were gone. I've thought about how fun it would be to have a vagina and what's a vagina without a clit I'd think of my vagina as extra storage a place to keep things warm and I'd always refer to it as my pussy. I would think hermaphrodites would have it pretty great the best of both worlds and when you think about it they've got 4 ways to receive pleasure or give it for that matter you know, winky, vag, clit, and butt I figure if you're a hermaphrodite, you've got to be kinky. I've also thought about placement in a hermaphrodite if your penis is normally where it is and your vag is just below it Where is your bungh ole? Where are your balls? I think now would be a good time to be sans balls cause the whole implication of having to lift big sweaty balls to get to the holiest of holies is right out. Right about now you must be saying to yourself this guy's got a lot of time on his hands but really it's much more than that I've never really written a poem for my penis, I mean about my penis and for most guys their penis means a lot to them How many guys do you know that name their penis? Mine has had a couple of names the longest running one was Gilligan, you know, cause of the hat. I had one girlfriend that her breasts were Ginger and Maryanne..... but that's another story. I look at my penis and I say sometimes he looks like Darth Vader but when I really look at him standing at attention he looks like Sgt. Shultz you know short and fat. |