letterstotheeditorissue9

Issue #9 (May 10th, 2004)

Brian,

Reading an issue of Zygote in my Coffee rattles my synapses--it feels like "SHOCK and AWE" to me. Sometimes it triggers an existential panic attack and my conscience wiggles with "who am I ?" and "why do I exist ?" and "what is the purpose of anything ?" . . . .
so let's break this habit,
shall we?
i've rigged these traps
for subliminal use only.
it's best to have an escape route
when you're fading out.

peace to you and yours,
--Rob "Special" K,

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Special K,

I'm a white, right-handed, heterosexual male. So needless to say, I feel a bit of "Shock & Awe" every time I masturbate with my left hand. I think the lack of callouses on my left hand creates the illusion it belongs to someone else. And that really turns me on. You think that's a normal? You strike me as someone who'd know something about this STRANGE phenomenon.

signed,
the editor in the midst of an "existential orgasm"

ZYGOTE IN MY COFFEE.COM

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To Whom it may concern,

I have noticed there is a preponderance of vulgar language and images in your zine. Perhaps you should consider cleaning it up and toning it down. I know for a fact that several young children have navigated your website. They shouldn't be subjected to such things. And I must say, the silly disclaimer at the bottom of your front page simply serves as a tool of enticement for young impressionable minds. Be careful, God is watching you.

--Gale, Concerned Mother and Christian

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Gale,

Sounds to me like someone needs to keep a tighter leash on their children. Maybe you should spend a little more quality time with them. Know what I mean? Ultimately it's the parent's responsibility to monitor their children's activities. Perhaps you should suspend their computer privileges & give them some bibles "to thump" instead. And don't worry so much about the sordid content they might have encountered in Zygote, I'm sure it's not half as bad as the oral STD's they may have contracted from the local priest or Sunday school teacher.

God Bless you! Amen.
~Brian

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