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| SETTING THE STAGE |
| E. William Martin |
| *A Showcase Of 21st Century Drama* |
| by |
| April's Feature Presentaion: |
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| E. William Martin is the editor of the James River Poetry Review and is the author of Paper Spirits and Judas Tree. He can be found at www.jamesriverpoetryreview.com. |
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| "Two Guys Walk Into A Bar" |
| Julian: Hey man, I already ordered a shot of Cuervo and a beer, sit down and take a load off! Leonard: (Sitting Down) Thanks there guy, I appreciate it. What’s new with you anyway? I heard the wife left ya from Joey over there (points)? Is it true? Julian: Yeah the bitch left me. Says I drink too damn much, can you believe that shit? I mean, come off it. I can have a beer or two when I get off a 10 shift right? I work hard and how does she repay me? By saying I spend too much time here with you guys and not enough time with the kid and her! Leonard: Fucking ridiculous! Too much of that Dr. Phil shit man. My lady’s been riding me hard like that too. A lot lately in fact. She told her sister I don’t romance her enough. I told her, “I got you this house and those clothes, didn’t I? What more do you want?” I mean, she ain’t riding no bicycle to the mall! Julian: Yeah, well, I really think I messed up this time. But hey, she’ll come back. Always does, right? We’re in the prime of life! Machines when it comes to making things better again. Leonard: Yeah, she’ll need her fix her shortly, if you know what I mean. Julian: Oh yeah! Leonard: Here, here! Let’s have another. Julian: So how come Marsha ain’t left your sorry ass? You’re here every fucking night just like the rest of us? Leonard: Oh, we talked about it, hollered in fact. But we see eye to eye, Marsha and me. Julian: What do you mean? What happened? Leonard: Well, she said I drink too much and all that. But you know what I told her? I told she was right! Julian: (Raising hands) You did what? Leonard: Yep, that’s right I told her she was right and I thanked her. I do drink too much. But then I told her that admitting you have a problem is the first fucking step on the road to almighty recovery! Shut her right up. Man, we got to laughing and shit. She grabbed me and took me back to the bedroom. Straightened things all up, me and her! Julian: Fuck Dr. Phil, you could have your own show man! You sure know women. A super genius. Hey what’s that commercial where you save the person money when you call them collect? I’m gonna call Jeannie right now and straighten things up. Leonard: Uhh… 1-800-COLLECT. So, you gonna fix this drinking problem of yours? Julian: (Getting up to go to the phone) Sure am. Hope I handle it as well as you. The End |